| held in his hands |
a mama’s story of loss, struggle, and God's faithfulness
sometimes the most powerful stories are the ones lived quietly, faithfully, and with deep resilience. while on my recent mission trip in ethiopia, i had the privilege of sharing this story with a room of about 60 women—widows, mothers, and sisters who have endured poverty, vulnerability, and lives shaped by unthinkable hardship. but they are stepping into a new chapter of hope and dignity through a small business empowerment program with life center ethiopia.
i came to serve, to encourage, and to walk alongside them—but i also came carrying the legacy of a woman whose faith helped shape my own. this is the story of one mama whose life was marked by loss, hardship, and unwavering trust in God. her journey is personal to me—not just because i know it, but because it helped form the heart behind my calling to mission work, and ultimately, led me to this room.
i believe her story will speak to many of you. may it remind you that even in the darkest seasons, God’s grace is near.
[this message was tenderly translated live into amharic during my talk by hiwot solomon, a social worker at life center ethiopia, whose heart for the women and faithfulness in serving allowed God’s message to reach hearts in their own language.]
held in His hands
a mama’s story of loss, struggle, and God's faithfulness
presented at Life Center Ethiopia Widows Conference | Addis Ababa, Ethiopia | 09 July 2025
a warm welcome & acknowledgment
today i have the honor of being here with you to share a story. a story of a woman from the united states and specifically, her struggle, loss, and hardships. yes, it’s true that in the US, much like ethiopia, life this side of heaven isn’t always easy or smooth or without pain.
i know that many of you beautiful women here have also experienced loss and hardship and pain in your life. but please let me assure you that today’s story is also one of encouragement. a story that will reveal God’s grace and faithfulness and how it carried this woman through significant pain and loss.
hello, my name is matt. from my heart, let me again welcome you today. thank you for coming! i know that God connected our paths and has asked me to share this woman’s story with each of you.
a story of suffering & strength: grace in hardship
let’s get to know a bit about this woman from the US. her name is mary and she’s the oldest of 7 siblings—she’ll be 75 years old this year.
in 1970, when mary was 19 years old, she married a man named robert. after marriage, they were blessed to buy a small home in a rural farm town where they would later raise their children. mary and robert had a daughter 4 years later, and then a son 1 year after that in 1975.
mary & robert had many of the same hopes and dreams that young couples have—to raise a family, build a home, and to live a life of joy and purpose. their faith was strong, and they attended church regularly. they had a great community around them, grew a garden, sent their kids to school, spent holidays with extended family, and everyone was healthy.
this sounds like the perfect family, the perfect life—full of God’s provision and promise. indeed, by many measures and from the outside looking in, life was good.
in 1980, mary’s husband began to have some health issues—seizures and some early-stage mental health issues. in 1981, mary’s husband robert lost his job. they had no income, and finances became very difficult. their family had to rely on government assistance for food.
mary was employed at the local school as a secretary to help support the family’s financial needs. but in 1985, robert started his own small business and things began looking up. yet, he was still struggling with progressive health challenges. his symptoms affected their marriage, his work, his ability to function.
mary had to take on a much larger role in caring for their home and family. and on one night of deep despair, robert attempted to take his own life with an overdose of his seizure medicine. life wasn’t very good anymore.
in 1987, robert got a medical explanation—he was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor. robert had surgery to remove the cancerous brain tumor and mary and their two children watched him struggle for the next four years after surgery.
and despite mary’s efforts, the financial challenges of her husband’s failed business became too great. she and her children had to leave their long-time home.
the silent struggles were there for mary too—depression. anxiety. fear. uncertainty. anger. bitterness. sleeplessness. those late nights in the dark when she would cry herself to sleep and feel so alone. maybe some of you have cried out in the night, too, asking where is God in my struggle?
yet somehow, mary found a way to persevere—she still prepared daily meals for her kids, attended all of their school activities, cared for her sick husband, kept a home, and worked a full-time job.
then in 1991, after four years of illness, robert died. so much for that perfect life.
i know many of you have felt this same loss, this grief, this forsakenness. you felt this hole in your heart and saw that same piece ripped from your children’s heart as well.
yet, mary still persevered and continued to lead and care for her family.
in 1995, she even drove 10 ½ hours to be with her son at university who needed surgery to help his progressive vision loss. but mary’s story isn’t over. and i’m sorry to say, there’s still more pain and struggle and loss…
three years later, in 1998, mary was diagnosed with breast cancer. she underwent chemotherapy, radiation treatment, and lost her hair. she was again presented with more than any one woman should have to carry in a lifetime.
yet during this time, mary still worked her job and her two children were at university. her daughter was studying to become a biologist and her son, an engineer.
while mary was going through her cancer treatment, her son again needed her. he had a traumatic injury to the same eye on which he had previously had surgery. so again, mary drove 10 ½ hours to care for her son—this time, all while she was completely bald, fatigued, and nauseous from breast cancer treatment.
indeed, mary carried a heavy burden—caring for her sick husband, now caring for her sick adult son. but i think you are starting to see a bit of the strength in mary’s character—and perhaps a few cracks where God’s grace is starting to shine through.
mary survived breast cancer.
there’s just a few more parts of mary’s story that i want to share. and yes, there is more struggle and loss…
fast forward about 17 years, mary’s son needed her again. at 40 years old, he suddenly collapsed with terrible spinning dizziness and was rushed to the hospital. mary got in the car and again drove many hours to care for him.
she intended to stay for a week or two, but her son’s health issues turned out to be more significant than first expected, and he lost much of his hearing as well.
mary stayed with her son for 3 ½ months and cared for him daily. she fed him, tended to his home, and drove him to many doctors’ appointments. he was sick and vomiting and hopeless—even as adult, crying out for his mama.
what did mary do? she pulled up a blanket and slept on the hard floor next to his bed and prayed. that’s what mamas do!
not only did mary suffer—her husband suffered, her son suffered. and the suffering didn’t end there—mary later lost her niece to lung cancer, her sister to chronic illness, and her mother to dementia over the next 10 years.
so was God still faithful in mary’s loss and struggle?
there is no doubt that mary was full of grit and incredibly strong. but grace is not given because we are strong—it is given because God is faithful.
a turning point: God's grace & faithfulness
mary experienced a lot of pain, loss, and struggles and watched those closest to her suffer too. there were times when she was exhausted, didn’t know how she’d keep going. she felt hopeless, and everything seemed impossible.
but God’s grace met her exactly where she was at.
Psalm 46:1 – "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
Isaiah 40:31 – "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength..."
grace isn’t earned—it is freely given by a loving and ever-faithful God who sees every tear and hears every prayer.
Lamentations 3:22-23 – "Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning."
the reveal
this woman i’ve spoken about is not just some distant woman i know by chance meeting…
mary is my mother!
this isn’t just a testimony about her hardship, it is also my lived experience as her son. yes, i am the one who she raised through my father’s illness, drove hours to care for through vision and hearing loss. the one who she prayed for while she lay on the floor next to me through my deepest suffering.
i got to grow up under the covering of my mother’s faith and God’s provision through her prayers. i stand here today as witness to the impact of faith across generations. i am living proof that strong mamas, strong faith, and strong community leave a legacy.
when i think of this beautiful woman, i am reminded of Proverbs 31:25 – "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."
i could share a million examples of what it was like to watch her endure trials while being an example of faith, hope, perseverance, & unconditional love.
that’s my mama.
[when i shared this story in ethiopia, the room was quietly attentive—leaning in, connecting, maybe seeing pieces of themselves in it. and when i revealed the mama in the story was my own, i wish you could have heard the collective gasp—the surprise, the sacred pause. not because the story changed, but because it suddenly became personal. and somehow, that made it theirs too.]
connecting her story to yours
she couldn't make the trip here, but i am here for all of us…
do you see yourself in my mama’s journey?
have you ever questioned whether God sees your pain?
have you ever been in a season of waiting?
have you ever wondered if God’s grace is enough for you?
i am standing here today, not because my mother had an easy life—but because she held onto God throughout an incredibly difficult life, and because a community stood beside her.
you are not forgotten—God’s promises remain true for every single one of you. maybe you don’t always feel it, but my mama’s story is proof of God’s unwavering presence in your own journey.
Hebrews 4:16 – "Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
the power of grace in your own community
i want to take just a quick moment to talk about grace & community. my mother’s community stood by her—they lifted her and our family up.
just like my mother and i had people who lifted us up, you have each other (and all of us across the ocean). lean on one another—not just in your struggles, but in your faith.
Galatians 6:2 – "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ."
words for the widows: encouragement from mary
my mother asked me to share you a few words directly from her:
“hi, i am mary, mattt’s mom.
you’ve heard some of my story—i know our lives are different, but maybe you see some of yourselves in my story? some of my story is difficult, but it also reminds me how faithful God was, even when i didn’t realize at the time. there were times it was hard for me to pray, but my family, church family, and friends were faithful in praying for me and my children. they encouraged us!
remember to pray for each other, to pray for your children, and encourage one another. God knows each of our stories and gives us His grace to face each day. the Bible says that His grace is sufficient. He will never leave us nor forsake us. i remind myself of that every day.
i hope you know there are so many people in the united states who love and pray for each of you! i wish i could be there with all of you. if i was, i would get up and we would all have a big group hug!
God bless you all.
a call to renewed hope through grace
that’s my mama!
my mother could have given up so many times, but she didn’t. and because of her faith, i am standing here today.
my mom’s story—my story—is a testimony of God’s grace and faithfulness. God’s grace carried my mother and His grace is carrying you. even when life feels impossible, God’s grace does not run out!
Psalm 55:22 – "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken."
closing prayer
let me pray for you…
Heavenly Father. thank you! thank you for my mama and your faithfulness to her and our family. thank you for this room of amazing, strong, beautiful women!
God, we ask you to pour out your abundant grace over them, renew their hope, soften their hearts, and fortify their resolve. thank you for the community that lifts us up and reminds us to share Your grace as freely as you give it.
we thank you for our struggles and our loss and our pain so that you may use them for our good and Your glory. Father, while our burdens feel great, we pray you continually remind us that Your grace is so much greater.
let each of these women see and feel your faithfulness. hold them in Your loving hands.
amen.
Your words that struck me when I sat there in Addis Ababa, listening to you relay this story to the women, still make me pause in my reading of them today, "Grace is not given because we are strong - it is given because God is faithful"!